In the mediation process a neutral third party helps the spouses reach an agreement and resolve their dispute. The mediator does not decide or event require that the parties reach an agreement. Instead, the parties have the responsibilty for making the decisions. Although not every dispute is suitable for mediation it is an attractive alternative in family disputes.
Family law matters offer a unique challange as they involve not only the law and the facts, but more importantly family relationships. Mediation places emphasis on parties establishing stable agreements often including unique solutions. Parties suitable for mediation are often more likely to adhere to these agreements than those imposed by the courts. Moreover, even those who are unable to reach an agreement during the mediation process often settle their case prior to trial.
One of the most crucial benefits of mediation is the reduction of parties' hostility towards each other and reduction of the trauma children experience during the divorce process. This benefit is especially significant as it allows for better relations between the parties, and their children after the dissolution of the marriage. Mediation process encourages parties to cooperate and work together.
In fact, childrens' psychological reactions to the parents' divorce vary based on the quality of the child's relationship with each parent prior to the divorce process, the intensity and duration of the conflict between the parents, and the parents' ability to focus on the child's needs during the divorce. (Mediating Divorce and Family Conflict, Copyright (c) 2000, Lynn A. Gaffigan, DePaul University, Chicago, IL , Section 4, Page 2.
If you wish to contact us you may do so at:
K & R Family Legal Services L.L.P.
899 Skokie Blvd., Suite 300
Northbrook, IL 60062
Phone (847) 715-9328
Fax (847) 715-9329
contactus@kandrfamilylaw.com
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Helping Children Through Divorce
By Sue Bronson
Reassure children they will be taken care of and are loved by both parents.
Continue to meet children's needs for structure, guidance, protection, setting limits, attention, and affection.
Help them to feel secure.
Help children know that the divorce is not their fault and they cannot "fix" it
Talk to children about how the separation affects them, yet keep adult issues (finances, sex, worries) between adults.
Provide opportunites for children to express their feelings.
Listen to their concerns.
Avoid putting children in a position of having to take sides between their parents.
Children know they are a part of each parent and they want to love each parent.
When children are allowed to accept each parent, they can accept all of themselves.
Allow children to be children.
Avoid pressuring children to take on more responsibility than appropriate for their age (development) by accepting your responsibility to function as the adult.
Research shows that the parents' level of unresolved conflict, not the divorce or residential schedule, is the single most critical factor in determining children's post- divorce adjustment.
Children succeed after divorce, when their parents work together as parents.
"Emotional Aspects of Divorce and Developing Parenting Plans" Mediation Training DePaul University 2008 Sue Bronson, LCSW
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To obtain further information regarding mediation or mediation services as offered by K & R Family Legal Services L.L.P. please visit the website of the Association for Conflict Resolution Chicago Chapter
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Parties concerned with confidentiality should not worry since mediation proceedings and all information obtained from or about participants is confidential. The confidentiality requirement may only be waived by informed written consent of both parties and the mediator. The mediator also should not knowingly or intentionally release any information which might possibly impact the legal proceedings. However, the confidentiality requirement does not apply if there is a clear and imminent danger to an individual or the society. Mediator also has a duty to assist the parties in considering the best interest of the child. (Mediation Council of Illinois Standards of Practice)
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